My Honest Wellness Toolkit: Real Practices for Mental Health, Self-Discovery & Living Well

If you're anything like me, you may have some form of ADHD or OCD. It can manifest in a lot of different ways. Information overload is something I've struggled with a lot since the rise of social media, but I've tried to condense the most useful tidbits of information that I've learned over the years.

Daily Planner

Remember how in school and university, they always gave us planners for writing down assignments? I used these religiously in school to stay organized and not forget important deadlines. After I graduated college, I kept forgetting things and had difficulty remembering anything that wasn't a scheduled Teams meeting on my calendar. I started re-introducing the daily and weekly planner to my routine, and it has helped immensely in managing a busy life.

I write down chores, birthdays to remember, tasks around the home, and work meetings and tasks I need to offload to future days or weeks. It really helps to take some time at the beginning of the year to write down major birthdays and trips, then each week on Sunday or Monday, sit down and plan what you have going on and what tasks you need to do. I even track my protein some days in there — it's just easier for me than filling it out in an app buried behind ads. I've tried bullet journals, but they just create too much work for me. I like the Paper Source planners, but in recent years I've switched to the Sugar Paper planner. I organize my personal life, content creation gigs, and main 9-5 job this way.

Meditation & Mindfulness Practice

I have done two workshops now, both through Mindfulness Northwest — Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and Mindfulness Self-Compassion — both to help with recognizing negative thought patterns and letting them go. The MBSR class is the most studied for improvements in health and well-being. It's an 8-week course, once a week, and I took it in person in Kirkland. I took the self-compassion course online. At the end of each course, there's a silent retreat for a day, which is a really unique and grounding experience. My class had all kinds of people — some with chronic health issues wanting to understand where their pain was coming from, others who were engineers like me just looking to manage daily life stressors and be their best selves. Meditation is extremely hard for me, but when I practice consistently, I notice I can slow down more easily and pause before reacting.

One of the best outcomes of a meditation course is the built-in accountability — you're forced to build those habits in. It also pays off in unexpected ways. Doing this allowed me to be more present in everything I do and bring my full self to each thing. Even showing up to work, you want to be present, listen to your coworkers, and fully immerse yourself. This applies to almost everything. If you're taking a new class — like I learned to sail this year — let yourself get fully immersed before and during the course, to truly be present and get the most out of the people you meet. If you're making coffee in the morning, take time to smell the beans, think about the process, and enjoy it. This can make your overall daily life feel richer, and you'll learn to love all the little moments more.

A Hobby to Do With Your Hands

Another way to stay present and avoid mental spirals is to pick up a hobby that keeps your hands busy. This works really well for a lot of people. I'm not much of a knitter or chef, but I bought an acoustic guitar off Craigslist and started re-learning with YouTube and an Ultimate Guitar subscription. It's so relaxing, it's essentially free, and you get dopamine hits when you land the notes. It's extremely calming, and you begin to realize how many songs are simple to learn and play. It keeps me present and focused on the task at hand, and I don't feel like I'm wasting time because I'm building real skills.

Working with a Dietitian

My dietitian introduced me to the Body Image Workbook and one of the best books I've read: Reclaiming Body Trust. You can get the audiobook for free on Libby. I always knew I had some body dysmorphia and issues with how I looked. I grew up in a household where weight was constantly commented on, and I let my weight dictate my self-worth for a long time. If I wasn't at the weight I thought I needed to be, I'd guilt myself into skipping meals — and then end up binging because I was hungry. I'd over-exercise and even lost my period once when I was training for my first half-marathon. I was running so much and loving how I looked, but I wasn't eating enough calories and carbs to replenish. My period came back after I started eating more sugars and carbs.

I also thought I was listening to my body by skipping breakfast, but it turns out that after skipping it so consistently, my body's hunger cues had just turned off. When I reintroduced morning food, I started getting naturally hungry and felt a lot less moody and more energized. Since my hair growth had slowed in my late 20s, my dietitian recommended bloodwork alongside increasing my protein intake to at least 80g a day — which is harder than you think when you're mostly vegetarian. I'm pescatarian, and I reached this goal by adding a protein drink once a day and being mindful about including protein with every meal. Instead of just making pasta for dinner, I add shrimp or Impossible Meat to complete it.

Learning about set point theory for weight was also really helpful, as was understanding how BMI was rooted in white supremacy and eugenics — developed by a Belgian mathematician and primarily tested on European white men. More on the egg freezing process and how that deepened my attention to nutrition and bloodwork here.

Therapy

Therapy helped me identify emotions better, learn how to set boundaries, and understand how trauma and attachment shape our interactions with the world. The feelings wheel was incredibly helpful for uncovering what I was actually feeling in the moment. My therapist also challenged me to clarify when I'm thinking something versus feeling something. We often say "I feel like she's being this way because XYZ," but really, that's a thought — and it's important to discern between the two. Thoughts are mental narratives, opinions, and judgments that can sometimes distort reality. Feelings are body-based states — happiness, sadness, anger, calmness — more raw and immediate signals of your needs, which is what you want to express to others. Therapy has helped me work through different traumas and has been especially useful for dating — learning about attachment styles and different ways of thinking.

Podcasts for Free Therapy Insights

Beyond therapy, one of my favorite podcasts for free therapeutic advice is the Love, Happiness, and Success podcast. Her episode on repairing self-esteem after a breakup has genuinely healed me and many of my friends. I recommend it to anyone going through a breakup — the focus shifts from your ex back to yourself. You learn why you can't get over them, how attachment bonds work, and how you ultimately lose trust in yourself when you return to a relationship that isn't right for you.

I also listened to her "Signs of a Healthy Relationship" episode, which helped me recognize I was in a toxic dynamic — stuck in a common anxious-avoidant loop. She has wonderful advice all around, and her episodes are great companions for a long walk with your dog.

For dating specifically, I also loved Damon Hoffman's podcasts — super fun and informative, with amazing first date tips for bringing your best self forward. Her advice for skipping dinner on a first date and keeping it to one hour is something I swear by. It allows for momentum to continue and keeps the investment low for both people.

Vision Boarding & the Power of Manifestation

I used to think vision boarding was kind of lame. When I saw the cliché boards online, I was a bit put off by the whole thing — but I stayed open for one year and decided to just make one without judgment, and with deeper intentions. You can do some pre-vision-boarding journaling to prepare. My friend leads a session and posted a YouTube video of her prompts to help you prepare. It's helpful to verbalize and internalize what you want to accomplish, and having a visual reminder around is a healthy practice. If you manifest and dream on something, your future self is speaking to you.

Tune Into Your Jealousy

Instead of envying other women or individuals, I started pausing and getting curious about what I was actually envying. After I identified what I wanted for myself, I made a plan for how to get there. For example, I felt insecure about my hair length — so instead of comparing myself, I spent the time to research and cultivate a healthy hair care plan, and learned to appreciate both my own genetics and other people's beauty. Your jealousy is trying to tell you something. Get quiet and listen to it.

Vocal Lessons

People always told me I was a good singer, but I had a lot of discomfort singing in front of others. I always wanted to take lessons to improve my confidence and skills. I've gotten so much more out of it than I initially expected. The first day, my teacher identified that I had a vocal fry that could worsen with age, and we've been working on bringing my speaking voice closer to my true singing voice. We also discovered that the vocal fry was causing me to lose my voice, not singing high notes. We explored my soprano voice and talked about how tension in the body — which can develop as early as infancy — can cause you to hold your neck with tension, disconnecting your stomach and head and disrupting airflow, making it harder to sing from your true voice. Dancing (specifically African dance and Polynesian dancing) helps build breath control, posture, and rhythmic connection to support your vocals.

One thing I love doing when I get into a new hobby is making a Pinterest board of inspiration. I made a board of female singers and fun outfits to get myself excited about it. Singing is such an expressive form of art, and I love seeing women be vulnerable and share their inner beauty with the world.

Do a Values Card Sort

One of the most transformative activities I've done is a values card sort with my therapist. It's an in-person activity where you sit down and evaluate 50+ values to determine your top 10. It's a powerful way to understand yourself and helps with identifying compatible partners and friends — ideally, you want around three overlapping core values. Values are how you actually live your life, not just what you think you admire. If I care about social justice but never protest or get involved, then it's not really a top value — and uncovering that is important. My therapist used the Shalom H. Schwartz Basic Human Values card deck (57 values), but it can be pricey, so I made my own copy one evening, put on a rom-com, and wrote out the cards by hand. I've done lots of card sorts with my partner and friends since.

Take a Solo Road Trip or Camping Trip

There's nothing like a solo trip to help you learn more about yourself. I took one with my dog while living in Denver, and it gave me the clarity I needed to pack up and move my life to Seattle — where I eventually met my partner and now live. I love gaining the confidence that I can do things on my own.

I wrote in detail about my first solo road trip and my first solo camping trip if you want a deep dive into those experiences.

Get Scientific with Dating — Make a Date Journal

Treat dating like a part-time job, because it kind of is. My friend and I had several "seasons" of dating where we kept journals from each date — these evolved over the years. By my final season of dating, we were tracking name, photo, where we met, how much was spent, and a few sentences on how I felt post-date. Looking back at these entries, your gut was usually right. We tracked ours together in Google Sheets, which I will not be sharing because it's utterly embarrassing — but I highly recommend doing it.

We both used Hinge in 2022 and paid for premium to take advantage of filters and sort through matches more efficiently. I only dated when I was in a healthy mental place and used heavy filtering on values before agreeing to a first date. I don't recommend getting caught up in superficial filters like height or ethnicity — keep your mind open, focus on your non-negotiables, and listen to Damon Hoffman's podcasts for great practical advice.

Another helpful mindset for dating is psychological flexibility — your partner is going to be different from you, and that's probably what you like about them. Every person has their individual way of being. When you let go of trying to control how people show up, you make room for compassion and curiosity. That said, this shouldn't be confused with setting boundaries — you should still know what you aren't willing to compromise on. More on navigating single life and building a beautiful life on your own in those posts.

Libby for Free Audiobooks

I was late to the Libby game, but it has helped me become better-read and more open to different types of media — because it's all free. You sign up at your local library (usually in person once), and then you're set to use the app for books and audiobooks. I finish books way faster because of the time limit on loans. This is my go-to on daily walks with Sora and on long road trips.

Goal Setting with the 8 Dimensions of Wellness

The 8 Dimensions of Wellness workbook has helped me so much with reaching personal goals (I always had trouble saving money, so identifying small ways to improve my financial situation was a game-changer). You go through Emotional, Environmental, Financial, Intellectual, Physical, Occupational, Spiritual, and Social goals one by one — identify your satisfaction in each area and some small ways to be more mindful about them in the new year. Even just writing some of these down helps bring them to life.

Some of my goals for this year:

• Social: Make 2 new friends, try a new activity, call longtime friends on their birthdays, plan an international trip with a best friend
• Intellectual: Read 1 book a month via Libby; learn to sew and tailor my own clothing
• Environmental: Start composting regularly; repurpose old clothing
• Physical: Take a Lyra and trapeze course to explore new movement; start 10 minutes of yoga and meditation each morning
• Spiritual: Join a moon circle with other women to journal with the moon phases
• Occupational: Improve AI knowledge to build an agent that automates something at work; start a new creative outlet or YouTube channel
• Financial: Last year I paid off my MINI Cooper loan by making it a goal and taking on more side hustles — and I did it!

Take Your Dental Health Seriously

I always hated flossing until I discovered Cocofloss — I actually enjoy it now. It feels better on my gums, and I worked it into my evening routine by leaving the floss next to the couch where I sit, so I see it and grab it. Visit your dentist twice a year and make your next appointment before you leave each visit so they're always on the calendar. I use ZocDoc for scheduling and it's incredibly convenient. Proper technique matters too: floss first, then brush in an up-and-down motion gently, morning and night. Use glass straws for iced coffee and other drinks to protect your enamel.

Simplified Skincare Routine

I got a bit fixated on skincare after getting a free skin analysis done on my trip to Korea. While it was fun to try different products, the real breakthrough came from meeting with a dermatologist. I found out I had Rosacea, which had been misdiagnosed as acne — now I can both treat breakouts and prevent them with Rosacea Triple Cream (prescription required). You can also read about what I learned from my Korean skin age analysis report.

My current routine: moisturizer morning and night, daily SPF 50 (reapply every two hours on sunny days), and a night shower — always at least a body shower. Apply creams within five minutes of showering for best absorption. I wash my face once a day: a cleansing balm to remove sunscreen or makeup, followed by a mild cleanser. Then hydraluronic acid or toner (optional, but I have a lot left over from Korea and they feel cooling), my Rosacea Triple Cream, a moisturizing cream, and simple body lotion. I do retinol/tretinoin every three days since I'm more sensitive — applied to my face, neck, and hands for cell turnover and healthy skin. I don't do Botox or other procedures. Aging is a gift not everyone gets to experience, and wearing sunscreen isn't just about wrinkles — it's about skin cancer prevention too.

Dive Into Personal Growth for Your Career & Hobbies

Two books I loved: Ikigai and Becoming You — great resources for learning about your economically viable passions and finding purpose that aligns with your values. Becoming You recommends taking the [Strengthsfinder/CliftonStrengths] exam to uncover more about your strengths and understand patterns in your inherent abilities. Don't stay stuck — you have one precious and beautiful life.

Intentional Fashion Consumption

I've come to realize how corrupt the fashion industry can be, and it's been meaningful to start being mindful about fabric materials and brands I support. If you're buying something made with plastics, make sure it's an item you'll wear for a long time, or from a brand you can easily resell to extend the clothing's life. There are a lot of conversations around the ethics of thrifting — I think it's on corporations to make goods more affordable, and buying secondhand is always better than sending items to landfill. Those items are going somewhere either way.

Reducing Microplastics Exposure

A lot has come out in recent years about reducing exposure to toxins and microplastics. I didn't think about this much until I was going through the egg freezing process at 30, and my fertility doctor explained how endocrine disruptors could affect the cycle. Endocrine disruptors are in so many things. For microplastics, the biggest wins come from replacing food storage and cookware: swap non-stick pans for stainless steel and cast iron, replace plastic containers with glass, and toss out plastic cutting boards in favor of wood or bamboo. Go to Goodwill and find glass jars, or save pasta sauce jars — a little isopropyl alcohol removes the labels, and they're great for food storage. Small changes add up quickly.

On AI and Brain Rot

I work in technology, so naturally I'm curious about new tools — but we need to be mindful of how they can interfere with our growth. I highly recommend finding a good podcast on ChatGPT and brain rot to become more aware of how to use these tools without eliminating your critical thinking skills. I use AI heavily to improve my coding productivity at work, but with clear limits. If you're using any AI product, make sure to opt out of allowing it to train on your chat data for privacy protection.

Vitamins & Supplements

Get your bloodwork done annually. I got more intentional about this after my egg freezing process. I don't take a ton of supplements, but I'm currently supplementing with protein and Nutrafol to work on hair growth. Vitamin D can also contribute to hair loss — mine was low from living in Seattle. I also supplement with gentle iron and vitamin C because I have low iron from heavy periods. I keep my supplements in a small holder next to my espresso machine so I remember to take them every morning.

Track Your Menstrual Cycle & Sync with Your Hormones

This is something I wish was taught more in school. Our hormones affect everything, and you can tap into natural energy and mood patterns by aligning your lifestyle with your hormonal cycle. I track on my Garmin watch, but Apple Health works great too. I started noticing I was always more irritable before my period, really energetic and positive during ovulation, and calm and tired during menstruation. Just knowing that has made me so much more compassionate toward myself.

Interior Design & Home Organization

Getting intentional about your environment makes a real difference. I use a Pomodoro timer at my workspace and a shower timer to help with haircare routines. My skincare routine lives on my bathroom counter so I never skip it. My closet is organized by color palette. Creating intentional spaces for different activities has been huge for me:

• A standing desk and ergonomic chair for focused work during the day
• A floor study space with a glass coffee table for working on current hobbies
• A reading nook for focused reading and mindset work
• A relaxation space for unwinding
• A cozy, comfortable bed for optimal sleep
• A bathroom vanity for enjoying makeup and haircare, with an organized and visible routine to make it feel fun
• A kitchen island that makes cooking more spacious and enjoyable — cutting board always out, scissors accessible for snipping food

Lighting has also been a game-changer, especially living in the Pacific Northwest. Smart lights on timers help hack your mood and bring warmth into darker months.

Some simple purchases that made a real difference: better ambient lighting, a step stool for reaching higher storage, and glass straws for everyday beverages. Small things that make your routines actually enjoyable are worth the investment.